1) It seems somehow meaningful that some of the things I bought when I started to shift my presentation in a more masculine direction are now wearing out. There’s a worn spot on the corner of my wallet. I’ve gone through a pair of shoes. So far, most of my clothes are holding up (perhaps partially due to my tendency to fuss at my kids “not to touch my shirt with those dirty hands!” — I fear my improved appearance has also exposed a certain fussiness about my clothes not entirely compatible with parenting…)

2) I got a note from my dad yesterday. He and my mom have joined a real-life trans SOFFA support group (I’m impressed there was an active one local to them). They have struggled mightily with my transition, and I’ve been struggling with how to navigate my relationship with them. Over the last couple months, my default has been to avoid them and focus on getting through my everyday life. Avoiding isn’t that hard since they live so far away. I’ve wondered many times what it would take from them for me to feel like I could really interact with them. I knew it would need to be some indication of motion on their part towards acceptance and possibly even support. When I got that note from my dad, I thought, “OK, wow, yes, this does help. I think I can actually call.”

3) I played trumpet for a couple songs in my daughter’s school concert today. Leigh was beyond excited for me to play, and the kids sounded amazing. It felt good to show up on the program for the show under my name, and that at the end, the music teacher thanked me and introduced me as Leigh’s dad and no one batted an eye. After the show, a parent came up to thank me and said “Sir, that sounded lovely” I thanked him and said the kids sounded great and he said, “Oh, wait, Ma’am, I’m sorry..” and I said “No, you got it right the first time” and said “Well OK then, it was really great.” And that was that. Of all the spaces I navigate, I have been most impressed and pleasantly surprised by my daughter’s public elementary school. They have been totally on the ball with our kid, and not a single teacher or administrator has used my old name or pronouns since we talked to them before school started. The other parents have been great, too.

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