I felt like I got to spend most of this weekend with Ezekiel (as opposed to with Lyn). In part, this is because the kids spent Saturday night at my mom’s, so we got to have a date. It’s great to spend time just the two of us because I feel like our relationship is so new right now, that I just want to do nothing all day every day but look at Ezekiel and talk to him. Being together just the two of us means I’m also free to use Lyn/Ezekiel’s male name, which is both fun and challenging.
We had a lot of good conversations. I feel so connected with Ezekiel right now and so blessed that both of us feel this strong new connection. So much has changed so rapidly, at it seems like a miracle to me that we are still on the same page. I also feel like I have amazing access to Ezekiel’s body that I have never had before. In some ways that makes no sense. After all, there are many areas of Ezekiel’s body right now that I don’t get to touch (or see) that I used to be able to touch. I should be feeling like he is more distant and harder to touch. But instead I feel like each touch is so much deeper and more connecting that it doesn’t even matter that there are areas of his body that are off limits.
On Sunday, the two of us and the kids went on a trip with my Mom. We all had a great time, but I feel something weird pretty much every time Ezekiel gets called “mama,” which is nearly constantly.