No one should ever ever say anything to a pregnant lady about how big or little she is. Really. Just don’t say anything at all. All you should say about appearance, if anything, is “You look great!” or “What a cute shirt.”

I’m not someone who’s very sensitive about my body. Even for a few years in my 20s, when I gained a substantial amount of weight, and really wasn’t healthy, I was pretty sure I looked just fine. I probably should have been a bit more concerned than I actually was.

I thought maybe that would give me a by on the whole pregnancy body image crisis thing, and largely it has (ask me again postpartum, though). But what I hadn’t expected was people talking incessantly about how little I am (or rather, how little my belly is). I’ve been tolerating comments like “is there really a baby in there?” since the very beginning, and now, “You can’t seriously be about to have that baby, you barely look 5 months pregnant.” These comments are coming mostly from women who have themselves been pregnant, and thus should know better. I am already pretty darn worried about this kiddo, especially since he (it feels so strange to use pronouns) is coming a bit sooner than we thought. I really would rather not be worrying that he might not be big enough in there. (Never mind that my million and two care providers keep assuring me he’s growing right on schedule. Between the incessant comments and that story in the “Business of Being Born” where the mom is measuring on target but still has a growth-restricted baby, I can’t seem to shake this particular worry).