Thanks to all for the well wishes for us relative newcomers to lesbian parent blog-land. Sorry for the radio silence over the weekend. We don’t do computers on shabbat and Sunday often gets away from us. There has been no appearance of AF (my usual day to start would have been Saturday). We succumbed to two more tests (Sat and Sun) and they are getting darker. (We don’t remember using so many with Leigh. I think that’s because we were apart for about 4 days just after the positive, and couldn’t egg each other on). I quit temping, at Gail’s “suggestion” (it came with a very stern look that makes suggestion seem like an understatement. I know she’s right. We killed ourselves over every tiny temp fluctuation with Leigh, until our midwife made the rather obvious suggestion that we chuck the thermometer).

On symptom watch we have: (1) general queasiness, particularly in the subway, (2) fatigue (but not yet the bone-crushing sort I’ve heard about), (3) strangely bigger/heavy boobs, and freakily sensitive nipples.

Gail needs a symptom watch too, as she has been perhaps more tired than I am, and both of us are dumb as posts, walking around bumping into things. She keeps saying “I shouldn’t feel like this…you’re the one with the hormones” to which I say pish posh. I was a mess when we found out about Leigh. A really happy mess. So fall apart as much as you need to, but let’s try not to both completely de-convolve at exactly the same time. I think we both feel like the whole world should quit moving for just a second while we figure out what is going on. That’s not really possible with a toddler on board.

I’ve been back and forth about whether or not to head in for a beta (I’m 14 dpo today). On principle, I would prefer not to. In general, if things seem fine, Gail and I do better with less information. We had virtually no prenatal testing with Leigh, not even an ultrasound. When Leigh was a baby, we told our pediatrician not to give us any info about Leigh’s height/weight percentiles or developmental schedule unless she was worried. We just didn’t want to think about it unless we needed to, don’t want to constantly compare her to other kids, and figure the worry is better spent when there is an actual problem. Yes, I know we’re kind of freaks, but it is how we work best. I called the clinic this morning, and they don’t seem to want a blood test, so for now we’re skipping it.

We’re already having to do some thinking about who/how/when to tell (other than, you know, the whole internet and the couple friends in-the-know). There are several people that we are going to need to tell basically ASAP about this, even though it might be better to wait. My family is planning a huge get-together far away just before the due date (assuming this sticks) that my sisters are already shopping for plane tickets for. So for logistical reasons, my family needs to know, in case we can either change time or location of get-together to make it workable for us. My work places me near some potentially hazardous chemicals, depending on how we structure experiments, so I need to have a talk with my bosses sooner than later for health reasons. Especially since we’re in the initial stages of planning some work right now and can plan it to be much safer if I speak up now. Ugh. I sort of can’t even think about it, though for now it’s a nice problem to have.

This turned into a rather scattered post, but we are a bit befuddled here, and are likely to remain so for a bit (or indefinitely?). Ah, so befuddled, that I forgot to say “shana tova” to other folks who celebrate Rosh Hashanah. May you have a sweet new year. We have much to be thankful for and look forward to here at first time second time.

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