CD24. Sensitive OPKs are still stuck in the same “almost positive” spot. I’m getting nothing on the cheapos. No smiley faces. Had EWM but not really anymore. Still no temp spike but it’s looking like a no go.

Our clinic charges a storage fee if you miss three cycles. I already missed August due to work travel and now this one due to a stupid cycle. Like we need more pressure next cycle. I know they’re going to offer Clomid but I’m not there yet. I know my body does this in response to travel and I also know that I am capable of ovulating on my own (OK, if you define “on my own” as 3+ acupuncture visits prior to ovulation).

The only good news is that I’m not making everyone else in my house miserable. I’m not even miserable. I just feel kind of apathetic and hopeless. This was our last shot at spacing less than 3 years. I used to really think we’d have kids closer than three years.

I was home with Leigh yesterday and she was taking her baby doll everywhere and keeping me appraised of it’s state. It needed lots of naps. It had a bath. It “pooped in the tub” which she “cleaned up” and then put the baby on the potty. I was sitting with her on the couch and she ran off to get the baby, brought it back and said “baby sleep on your lap now” after which she tucked it in carefully (not very SIDS friendly, face down, blanket over head…) and instructed me “No wake a baby up…shhhhh.”

Her baby kick came out of nowhere. Maybe she’s picking up on what’s going on, or maybe it is the arrival of younger kids in her day care class, but I couldn’t help thinking about her as a big sister, and really really hoping she gets to be one…though we’ll probably need to supervise her “tucking in” techniques.

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