From the category archives:

NGP (non-bio mom and dad) issues

Leigh’s birth, the NGP version, part II, The Hospital

by Lyn January 20, 2012

[Continued from Part I] Our midwife came to the hospital with us (she and I carrying about a thousand useless tote bags of utter crap), and advised us to let her do the talking about how Gail’s labor was progressing. We got the most amazing labor and delivery nurse ever in the whole wide world, [...]

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Leigh’s birth, the NGP version, part I, Labor at Home

by Lyn January 18, 2012

An introductory note: This story has been a long time coming. We weren’t writing here when Leigh was born five and a half years ago. But even when Ira was born and we’d been writing here for some time, we stopped short of a full birth story. This blog is quite public, and the experiences [...]

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Mom titles, the kindergarten edition

by Lyn January 6, 2012

Leigh started kindergarten this fall. She’s doing great and we are slowly adjusting to being parents of a “school-age” kid. Our district is extremely supportive of GLBT-headed families. They have a family-liason specifically for GLBT issues, who is a resource for teachers, students and families. We’ve always been certain that the school and the district [...]

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A call for birth stories from non-birthing parents

by Lyn December 19, 2011

If you haven’t already, go read this post at Breaking into Blossom. RLG does a very thoughtful analysis of how the ways in which we advocate for natural birth options can cause unintentional harm, to all parents, both those doing the birthing and not. She makes lots of smart points, but the theme that stands out [...]

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A weekend off

by Lyn October 18, 2011

When Leigh was a baby, I loved going out with her by myself. I’d take her to new parent groups or to run errands as the only mom in evidence. I loved the freedom and confidence I felt. I soaked up every last compliment about my fabulous baby, and every assumption that I was a [...]

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Donor Sibling Registry: yay or nay or …

by Gail September 26, 2011

About six years ago, I got pregnant after insemination with frozen donor sperm, and nine months later Lyn and I had a baby girl, Leigh. Like most parents, we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. Unlike most parents (but perhaps like many parents actually reading this), part of what we had no [...]

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Mother or Father?

by Lyn September 15, 2011

I’m enjoying the writing prompts on queer parenting at Regular Midwesterners, so I took a go at their second question. Josh and Gretchen ask: “Do you think of yourself as a “mother”? A “father”? Something in between? Why?” Five and a half years ago, my wife was pregnant with Leigh and I was in my [...]

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Do you love them differently?

by Lyn August 28, 2011

On Gail’s post a while back about what we call ourselves as parents (and in what contexts), Chris, whose partner is perhaps soon trying to conceive another child for their family, asked “I am very worried I will not (love) this child as much as mine. I worry I won’t treat them equally. Hetero women [...]

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Leigh on Non-Bio Moms

by Gail April 24, 2011

Lyn and I were deep in conversation a couple of days ago about an academic article I was reading on lesbian non-bio moms. Suddenly Leigh cuts in. “Excuse me! Excuse me!” Leigh shouts. “What Leigh?” I ask in a fairly exasperated tone because the conversation was really good. “I want to be in the conversation.” [...]

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Some non-bio-mom reading

by Lyn April 14, 2011

I always get a little thrill when I find someone writing about being a lesbian non-bio-mom (for the time being, let’s decide we actually agree on what to call us); not just the “my kid is cute and amazing” writing, but the stuff about what it’s really like, about what’s great, surprising or hard. Thus, [...]

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How do we refer to parents in two-mom families?

by Gail April 5, 2011

I was recently reading an article about queer parents, “(How) Does the Sexual Orientation of Parents Matter” by Stacey and Biblarz, and hit up against a not uncommon academic term for a lesbian non-biological mother — “social mother.” The whole time I was reading the paper (which is really good, by the way) I kept [...]

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